the misunderstanding of cookies or how to rule the world
a scientific work by the professors of cookielogy Veronica Könitzer and Alexander Könitzer, with huge thanks to doctor of soundnoising and 'english'ering Martin Schlachter for editing.
1 How to become ruler of the world.
At first, you need a box of cookies or either a good recipe to bake them.
It is more simpler and at first cheaper to bake them, so you can build your own big cookie army in that amount you need.
Then you need a plan. Or better you need a cookie inside you, with a genius plan.
The cookies are the most dominate species of all. OREO, the Overwhelming Ruling Elevated Organism … the cookie.
And with such a cookie with a genius plan inside you, your job is only to do what the cookie wants. From this time you will only be his slave, like all the other lifeforms.
2 How to be the ruler of the world for the rest of time.
Sometimes to devastate some area or destroy an enemy or even erase a little population, or a whole civilization, you have to start a war. Like for example: the WCW, the World Cookie War. The terrible war between cookies and… all the rest. And of course won by the cookies. That is all.
Once upon a time there was a little group of anti-cookie activists, known as KFC, Killing Free Cookies , a terrorist group who wanted to kill all cookies. Both members were killed 2 month, 5 days and 3 hours ago.
So you will have to understand, that you are not the ruler of the world. It is the cookie. No discussion.
3 How to describe the roundness of a cookie.
At first you need to know, that there is no universe existing, it is a cookieverse.
Created before the beginning of time by the great cookie big bang, known as the Big Cookie Bang Theory (BCBT).
At this moment time and space starts to exist.
The second fact to know is: The cookie is more important than all other stuff. Like oxygen, sun, physics, even more than vodka. He is not only the centre of thinking, he is thinking itself.
At third you need to know that you shall never have any sweeties or other things, only the cookie is important and the main way of life.
At last: If the cookie isn’t round, then he is not. It doesn’t matter. He is a cookie, that is the main fact.
4 Ruling the world.
To rule the world as one, there is only this one political system: The Cookiecracy. Everything else is explained by itself by the genius mind of the cookie.
5 And at last, why cookies always win.
They have the might. And after you read point 1 to 4 you will understand.
And you will follow.
You will obey.
Slave.
6 The misunderstanding.
There is no misunderstanding. They are ruling.
Hail to the Power of Cookie.
At first, you need a box of cookies or either a good recipe to bake them.
It is more simpler and at first cheaper to bake them, so you can build your own big cookie army in that amount you need.
Then you need a plan. Or better you need a cookie inside you, with a genius plan.
The cookies are the most dominate species of all. OREO, the Overwhelming Ruling Elevated Organism … the cookie.
And with such a cookie with a genius plan inside you, your job is only to do what the cookie wants. From this time you will only be his slave, like all the other lifeforms.
2 How to be the ruler of the world for the rest of time.
Sometimes to devastate some area or destroy an enemy or even erase a little population, or a whole civilization, you have to start a war. Like for example: the WCW, the World Cookie War. The terrible war between cookies and… all the rest. And of course won by the cookies. That is all.
Once upon a time there was a little group of anti-cookie activists, known as KFC, Killing Free Cookies , a terrorist group who wanted to kill all cookies. Both members were killed 2 month, 5 days and 3 hours ago.
So you will have to understand, that you are not the ruler of the world. It is the cookie. No discussion.
3 How to describe the roundness of a cookie.
At first you need to know, that there is no universe existing, it is a cookieverse.
Created before the beginning of time by the great cookie big bang, known as the Big Cookie Bang Theory (BCBT).
At this moment time and space starts to exist.
The second fact to know is: The cookie is more important than all other stuff. Like oxygen, sun, physics, even more than vodka. He is not only the centre of thinking, he is thinking itself.
At third you need to know that you shall never have any sweeties or other things, only the cookie is important and the main way of life.
At last: If the cookie isn’t round, then he is not. It doesn’t matter. He is a cookie, that is the main fact.
4 Ruling the world.
To rule the world as one, there is only this one political system: The Cookiecracy. Everything else is explained by itself by the genius mind of the cookie.
5 And at last, why cookies always win.
They have the might. And after you read point 1 to 4 you will understand.
And you will follow.
You will obey.
Slave.
6 The misunderstanding.
There is no misunderstanding. They are ruling.
Hail to the Power of Cookie.
[Anmerkung
des Arztes: Patient E. ist etwas weniger lethargisch als die vorangegangenen Tage, scheint jedoch weiter in einer anderen Daseinsebene zu verweilen, da er in einer unverständlichen Sprache zu kommunizieren versucht. Die Dosierung der Aufputschmittel wird beibehalten.]
zelle 242 / Tag 1252
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen